- First consultations are often free, the FTC says; ask before going whether the time is billed.
- “Be wary of any lawyer who guarantees results,” the State Bar of California says.
- A divorce fee contingent on the outcome is barred under the American Bar Association’s model rules.
- Money short? Legal aid offices and law school clinics offer free help or low-cost options.
Taylor, a parent of two who shares a house, meets a divorce lawyer for the first time next week. The hour goes fast, so the questions that matter deserve to be written down first.
Questions to Ask a Divorce Lawyer at the First Meeting
Good questions cover the fit, the staffing, the cost. The Federal Trade Commission’s consumer guide puts five first:
- “What is your experience with my kind of case?”
- “What are the chances of getting the solution I want?”
- “Who will do most of the work on the case? Will it be you, other lawyers in the firm, or paralegals?”
- “What are the fees for each person who will work on my case?”
- “How will I be billed?”
The State Bar of California adds its own: ask about similar cases the lawyer has handled, and whether they will handle yours personally; ask too how long the case should take.
Afterward, the State Bar of California suggests two self-checks: “Does the fee seem reasonable?” and “Do you think the lawyer has the experience and skill to handle your case?”
Fees: What to Get in Writing
A first consultation is often free, and the FTC advises asking before you go whether time is billed. If you hire them, get the fee agreement written down, the hours estimated if you pay by the hour, and the exact services a flat fee covers.
The American Bar Association’s model rules tell a lawyer to spell out, preferably in writing, what the representation covers and what it costs; a divorce fee contingent on the outcome is barred.
California goes further: under section 6148 of the Business and Professions Code, the contract must be written when the cost can reasonably be expected to pass $1,000, stating the basis of compensation, the services’ nature, and each side’s duties. The client keeps a signed duplicate, bills must state their basis, and written disclosure can waive it.
Taylor’s List, Prepared With Gabriel
Taylor, Morgan Brooks and the city of Fresno are fictional; the list is real output from Gabriel, the Nation AI coach for legal questions. Our tool page for legal AI recommends the same move: a priority-sorted question list to bring along.
The list Gabriel returned
Questions to ask your divorce lawyer
Your main goals are a fair parenting plan and a fair division of your home, finances, and debts. You can bring this list and mark the questions most important to you.
First: your options and immediate next steps
Based on what I’ve told you, what are my main legal and practical options?
What should I do, and avoid doing, before anything is agreed or filed?
Should I take any steps now to protect access to money, bills, or important records?
What information do you need from me to assess the case fully?
Children and parenting
What parenting arrangements might be workable for our two children, and how are custody and parenting time generally decided?
What information would help you advise me about a schedule that serves the children’s needs?
Should we make a temporary parenting agreement while the divorce is pending?
How should we handle decisions about school, healthcare, holidays, and travel?
What should I do if Morgan and I disagree or communication becomes difficult?
The home, bank account, and other finances
How may the home and mortgage be treated in the divorce, and what options should we consider, such as selling, one of us keeping it, or delaying a decision?
What information will you need to assess the home’s value, equity, and each person’s contributions?
How should I document and address Morgan’s $4,800 transfer on June 2, 2026? Does it affect the financial division, and what records should I preserve?
What other assets, debts, income, or expenses should we identify, including retirement accounts, credit cards, vehicles, and taxes?
Could spousal support or child support be relevant, and what financial details would you need to estimate it?
Should I avoid moving money, changing accounts, or making major financial decisions until I receive advice?
Process, costs, and communication
What steps would you expect in my case, and what might resolve it without a contested court hearing?
Are there deadlines or urgent steps I should know about?
Who will handle my matter day to day, and how should I contact the firm?
How do your fees, retainer, billing, and likely additional costs work?
What is a realistic range of possible timelines and costs? What could make the case more expensive?
What are the strengths, uncertainties, and risks you see at this stage?
Example conversation
Which three questions matter most in my case, and why? Answer in three lines.
“What should I do now about the home, joint accounts, and Morgan’s $4,800 transfer? To protect records and avoid financial steps that could complicate the division.”
“What temporary parenting plan should we consider for the children? To create stability while the divorce is pending and focus on their needs.”
“Are there any urgent deadlines or court steps I need to know about? To avoid missing a deadline that could affect my options.”
What to Bring With You
The State Bar of California keeps it simple: jot down the case’s key points, bring the names, addresses and phone numbers of everyone involved, plus all the papers related to it. Some lawyers may want to read them first.
California’s disclosure step comes later: after filing, the courts ask each spouse to share tax returns from the last two years, proof of income for the past two months, and what each owns and owes, within 60 days.
Free Help When Money Is Tight
A lawyer is not the only door. Legal aid offices give free legal help in divorce cases to people with low and moderate incomes (FTC); state bar associations and law school clinics offer “free or low-cost legal help” too. Legal Services Corporation funds 129 such organizations nationwide.
In California, the courts’ self-help centers help you fill out forms and answer questions at no cost. They also say a divorce is possible without a lawyer, and that a spouse with a lot of property or debt can hire one for part of it.
Gabriel’s warning
Gabriel is a preparation tool, not a lawyer. In a family conflict he takes no side and stays factual, he presents no rule he cannot check, and coming deadlines get flagged first. His lists prepare the meeting; they do not replace a lawyer.
Gabriel
AI legal assistant
“Give me your situation and I return a question list for your first meeting, urgent items on top. I also help you read a letter or a court form and watch the dates.”
Walk in with the list written
Tell Gabriel about your situation and he returns questions sorted by priority; the legal AI pages show the rest, and the chat is free to try, no sign-up.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is the first appointment with a divorce lawyer free?
Often, yes: first consultations are often free, the FTC notes; ask whether the time is billed.
Can you get a divorce in California without a lawyer?
In California, yes: the courts’ self-help guide confirms it; with a lot of property or debt, you can hire a lawyer for part of it.
What if I am not happy with my lawyer?
If talking does not fix things, or you believe the lawyer did something wrong, the FTC suggests a complaint with your state or local bar association.
Sources
- Hiring a Lawyer, FTC, September 2023.
- Before Selecting an Attorney, State Bar of California.
- Rule 1.5 (fees), American Bar Association.
- Section 6148, Business and Professions Code.
- Divorce Forms, California Courts.
- Start a Divorce Case, California Courts.
- Gather and Share Financial Information, California Courts.
- I Need Legal Help, Legal Services Corporation.
One more thing to prepare? Ask Alex
Alex, the generalist assistant, helps with the rest: a summary of your situation, a letter, a form.
